On the road again....update!

**Follow me on instagram from state to state metzger_rachael is my user name**

I'm sitting in Tate street coffee near UNCG's campus. I spoke to some students here last night about my walk with the Lord, before going on The World Race, during and now after and how much He has changed me. How much He changed all of us that went and thought we were just signing up to go do a little " missions work". Work got done, people were served, the gospel was shared, but Why the Lord took us out of what we knew and threw us into The World Race was to take us into the wilderness and speak tenderly to us. He wanted to reveal more of himself and wake us up to who he is and who he desires us to be.

Anyone who knew me before the race could tell you what I wanted coming out of the World Eace was to be called to a specific country or ministry we worked with and know my life plans- finally have clarity. But what I got coming out of the race was a desire for more of God, more intimacy with the creator of heaven and earth, and the question plaguing me was no longer where are you going , but who are you becoming? (Don't get me wrong I still want to know the where's as well, but the main thing is the who) So I'll pose the same question to you: " Who are you becoming? When you die what legacy do you want to leave? If you were to pass away right now what would others write about who you were? It can be a little intense to think of your own eulogy, but tomorrow isn't guaranteed..Do you have a vision of the person you are working to become? And if so, do your decisions line up with being that person?

I wish I had been asking this question years ago. It would have saved a lot of heartache and aimless wandering. Scripture says, "..my people perish without vision" and it's true. It doesn't mean at all that you have to have your entire life mapped out, but what are you moving towards? The external circumstances could change, but the internal process remains the same no matter where you are.

I talked for a while last night, about an hour and a half and I skipped half of what I had planned to talk about- part bending plans to the Spirits will and part my own tangents. My prayer is that in all my rambling that the students I spoke to last night would see that I wanted to make much of Jesus, that I am hungry to know him more, that I want to remind people of their God given identities and spark them to seek out the answers from the Lord- he is faithful to answer. That prayer is the same for whoever I encounter. I want to be the crazy girl obsessed with Jesus. If I am doing things that go against this world order, if I'm being misunderstood, rejected, and questioned by the religious sort, if "non church folk" wanna sit and spend time with me, and our generation is asking for morewith me, then I'll consider it a day well spent; that just maybe I'm figuring out a little more what following Jesus looks like.

I'm excited for how the Lord is going to use his kids on UNCG's campus. I wanna hear how he's speaking to them, the new revelation they are recievibg and how freedom is breaking out on campus and in their city. Lord I trust you with this campus, with these students.. Break addictions, show people who you created them to be, draw people into yourself- and let your kingdom break through in Greensboro. Let the talk be about the love of God people are experiencing that started with this small group of radicals ( normals to you God).

I'm heading to Roxboro,NC to visit one of my very best friends tonight, and I'm so excited for time with her. On Friday evening I will be in Raleigh! Anyone who would like to grab coffee and cath up, talk about life interested in the world race or missions in general or just needs prayer please email me and let me know. I don't have a car, but when I'm not with friends or meeting people I'll be around the coffee shops available to hang out. I am also free to speak at bible studies, churches, youth groups, schools, events, wherever I am needed to come and make much of Jesus. I will be in Raleigh for at least two weeks, possibly longer if I have scheduled event or meetings. I'm thinking I'll be making my way back to TN after Raleigh, but not sure yet. Thanks for following everyone- God Rock our world today!

Through His Perspective.. & pondering on a plane

Christmas Day, 2011

I'm on a plane Nashville bound. I've been off the World Race now for a little over a month, but have hardly sat still. Unfortunately my time with family was only a couple of days here, and there, and then a little under a week right before Christmas, and here it is Christmas day and I am on the move. My sister and I are going to see our family in Nashville, and then some of my world race family are picking me up to road trip to Kansas city, MO for IHOP's "One Thing" conference.

My soul is set on the Lord, but my mind and heart are constantly battling with one another about where I am going with my life. What I am doing, and feeling like I am abandoning my family. My leaving has nothing to do with a running away, but I hope they understand it's because I am running after the most important man in my life; Jesus.

I want to put myself in situations of great dependency on him, I want to be discipled by someone after David's heart; just joyously passionate for the Lord and bringing Kingdom to earth. I want his word written on my heart. I just want more. Life was not meant to be endured, but lived on the fly of our pants, stepping out into risk- risking it all, because there is no security we can count on, but the Lord. All our security lies in him and he loves taking us on an adventure. He loves the risk takers, the great dreamers, and the visionaries- people who want to create a new earth; A new eden.

Clusters of light distract me from my thoughts, but only for a moment, and I am talking to the Lord in my head again. I'm fixated on each one, and the distance between them. Is this what we look like? That cluster is an entire city, full of people with needs, broken people, people who are free, and people who are enslaved, people with dreams, and each person the Lord sees. When I am down there walking about everything seems so big, in the physical and the spiritual- I am sometimes overwhelmed by how small I really am, what can I do? But from up here I feel like I see things from his eyes a bit. Yes, I really am small, a tiny speck- that's clear from here, but also that to him the whole world is small. It's hours between these clusters of light, yet to Him it looks like the size of a fingernail from one to the next, and things are bigger than what is just in front of me, he can see it all at once. Praise the Lord he has the insight to lead us.I often wonder why He made us, do we really move him the way scripture says- what is so special about us?

I peer out the window again squishing my eyes and scrunching my face up really trying to look intently- and see from His perspective. Show me God. Show me. I see a Christmas tree in the distance, one that to me would be hundreds of feet tall, and from here looks like a small table display. All these city light look as if the world is decorated for His glory- like a neighborhood of light displays. The criss cross patterns and grids, amidst the natural mountains, valleys, and twisting rivers. All of it beauty for Him to look upon. He looks at us and sees beauty- because He see the big picture. When he looks at us- individually- he still sees beauty, because he sees the big picture there too. The past, present, and glorious future. He looks not only at who you are in this moment, but who you are becoming in the next. A beautiful thing to have eyes to see perfection in the midst of chaos.

I sat for a moment longer and began to smile. SO God takes delight in the earth, this light show, the creation he made, and especially the us- made in His image. If that all delights God then it should delight me, right? Lord I want to be in awe of who you are and what you've done. I want to choose to stop and watch a falling leaf, because it's glorious, and perfect. Would I have thought of each contour, and crevice in caves, mountains, and the unique imprints of each leaf- the delicate cell structure, the colors, or the textures? Would I have imagined stars, the waters, the sky and the moon? Would I have thought of dimples, and freckles, bone structure and making some people have attached earlobes, and others dangly ones? God is so good! Given a blank canvas- I could never have dreamed up even a fraction of this amazing place called earth. Can you imagine if there was no sunrise? No sunset? The beauty and majesty; the colors in a rainbow; All visual poetry showing us parts of His heart, and we take it for granted everyday.

I don't understand even now how he has no beginning and no end, except that I know it's truth and there is nothing that can contain him. How could we even consider this all happened by chance? Look around you- It can't be coincidence that a man should love a woman and a woman love a man, and the two fit together perfectly as one flesh. That the ocean submits to it's constraints time and time again, and the desire to create almost explodes out of our being. We don't desire to "big bang" or randomly explode into harmony, but rather to make new things, invent, design, and explore all characteristics of a creator. That's because we were made from, and by a creator God. His print is on us. We were made in his glorious image.

Some may call me foolish to believe the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob placed the stars in the sky, created man from dust, and knew me and formed before I was ever in my mother's womb. Funny thing though is it takes the same faith to believe in something as it does to believe in nothing. Nothing sounds a bit more ridiculous to me; therefore it may take more faith to reject a creator God when creation shouts His glory; screams his name. Both seem far fetched, but we have to choose. We are either for him or against him. Just look around you, he is drawing you into himself, and wants to be in relationship with you, allow yourself just to stop. pause. look around. Could this really have happened without intention in mind?

Isn't it amazing we can ask these questions? That's because the Lord has blessed us, and entrusted us with the decision to choose him or not. He gives freedom so the love is sincere, so our hearts are pure, and our desires are on Him because we choose him, not because we have to, but because we want to. Just as parents can't choose their child's destiny, only put up caution signs, promptings, and guide them along the way; so the Lord patiently and lovingly sees us along the way in our choices, but always leaves it to us.

And so I choose to choose Him. I commit to follow him. From light cluster to light cluster. Glory to Glory. I want to intentionally set my heart on him. To look at the life he has blessed me with an actually live it to the fullest. It's not by chance I am who I am, and I've encountered what I have. It is the story he thought up just for me. I love the way Donald Miller puts it in the author's note of "Through Painted Deserts." (* read the whole thing for free online.. my favorite thing to read again and again..) He says:

"And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

We have the opportunity to live out the amazing story he wrote for us. He is the master story teller. He's established the elements, and is always with us. It would be a shame to not venture out and see what gets written of our life. You only get one on this earth- let's make it one worthy of the creator.

Hiding away in his Presence.. shawl revelation

Is anyone else distracted when they try and sit alone with the Lord to pray? I seriously think I could have ADD. If there is anything out of place in the room, I'll start cleaning, and once I get going I can't stop until every room is clean, even the ones I can't see from where I am sitting. It's becoming a problem.

So this morning as I was cleaning, again, I found what I thought was a crocheted baby blanket. Upon opening it I discovered a small cross charm hanging from the corner, and remembered it was a prayer shawl that had been given to my sister. I stood there, holding it, wondering if this was in fact the solution to my ADD problem.

While I was in montana I watched a movie called YENTL with Barbara Streisand, and at one point she takes her father's prayer shawl and starts singing (of course she does) to the Lord. She sings about entering the Holy Place, and asks why it is only allowed for men? and then she covers her head and eyes completely, on her knees and begins to pray... Now while the movie itself doesn' t have much in particular to do with what I have been wrestling with on prayer, that scene in particular ran through my mind as I held this prayer shawl.

I will try anything to step into the Holy Place, to get away from distractions and commune with my Papa. This morning I made my tea, and cleared away a clean corner in our living room got to my knees, and lifted the prayer shawl over my head letting it fall on my shoulders and drape in front of my eyes. As I did, I slipped away to the secret place with my Father. I refused even when I felt antsy about how much time had passed to lift the veil until I was done spending time with the Lord. I cried under the shawl, I cried out, I whispered, and to all who know me I dozed off a couple of times. But distractions there were not, and when I finally emerged there was nothing left for me to tell me Papa, there had been nothing that had come between us, and it was 3 hours later!

Now I don't post this boastfully to say, "look I prayed for several hours today", because quite frankly others pray more, and some days I will pray less. I post it to encourage you to step into the throne room of God undistracted. Willing to give up your time, because it's not yours it's His. He desires and craves time with you. Take off your watch, find a corner and hide away in your shawl to spend time that is so precious with the one who made time, who is over time, and who gives you time. Everything flows from our relationship with him. We have the honor and the privilege of access to the kingdom of Heaven, of warring for our brothers and sisters in the spiritual, of hearing his voice, and of laying our burdens at his feet. I pray that you all will try anything to escape into his presence and truly show him that there is none more worthy than HE, and no place you'd rather be than in his arms. I love you all and am fighting for you. Send me your prayers, and as I am covered I will cover you.

The Adventure begins..and SO I GO...

LIVING ON LOVE IS BORN

Since I landed in the US November 19th I have gone from Los Angeles to Seattle, Seattle to Portland, Portland to Albany, Albany back to Portland, Portland to Big Fork, MT, and now back to Portland. I arrived this morning on the train from Montana. This really is month 12 of my race. I have already done more traveling than most of this year, and it's not over yet. My 14 hr train ride back wasn't much different than other trips I have taken this year, except for that I was alone, the seats were huge, and it was eerily silent.  Thus, I was left to my thoughts and journaling since I still don't posses an Ipod of any kind. I have become accustomed to sleeping during the day and pondering at night. I'm not sure my body will ever be back on a normal schedule at this rate. I stayed up journaling the end of my race. As per usual I am behind in my journal, but have found a positive in being alone- that I have plenty of time to write. It's the acceptable version of talking to myself. 

Funny thing I realized while writing was if I pulled out a journal from last year, beginning of december, a lot of my thoughts would have been the same, give or take a few characters involved. How is that possible after such a transformational year? I am a completely different person. I shouldn't be making the same dumb mistakes my former self made. I spoke at my grandparents church yesterday and one of the scriptures I shared with them was Ephesians 4:22-24:

" Throw off your old sinful nature, and your former way of life which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly Righteous and Holy..."

Throwing off the old sinful nature. I either want no sins or I want new ones. Isn't doing the same thing again and again with no changing result the definition of Insanity? Speaking at the church was exactly what i needed to finally start this new season. I came home feeling like I was floundering, not really knowing what to do with myself. But as I began speaking, not knowing exactly how I was going to give the entire year justice through a 40 minute talk I realized this is where I come alive. Sharing what the Lord has done, speaking of his good works, and singing his praises. And that's because it is what I was born to do. It doesn't matter if I am in Asia, Africa, or the good ol' US, it is wired in who I am. 

Since I have been back I have never felt as at home as I did in front of the church trying to put into words all the Lord revealed to me this year. I was crying half of the time I spoke to the Little Brown Church, especially when I spoke about our community. Now don't get me wrong community was hard this year. Half the time I wanted to be as far away from them as I could, but actually leaving them opened my eyes to how lucky I was. And that was light bulb number 2- community. Again the same truth that it doesn't matter where you are if you are surrounded by people who love you. If you are surrounded by a community seeking after the heart of God, and wanting desperately to bring the kingdom of heaven here on earth. A group of people who's heart is to Love everyone we come into contact with no matter the cost. It is something to move for, to leave everything for- it is priceless. I finished my talk with declarations I had just written in my journal the night before. They said: 

I have THROWN off my old nature. This NEW nature is now SEALED in me and there is no going back. I now look at a completely DIFFERENT person in the mirror. No matter where I am or who I am with I will be a person who is LEAD by the spirit and standing on truth. I believe the impossible is possible through our God. Healing and moves of the Holy Spirit and the Lord speaking still happen. My God does as he pleases and can speak, move, and just plain do whatever he wants. I will not limit how he can work in and through me. I will be His girl. A daughter of the King that worships at my best and worst moments, ESPECIALLY my worst moments. I will FIGHT to discover who God really is, because he is an endless ocean and no matter how hard I SEEK him I will never run out of new things to discover. I have ACCESS to the kingdom of heaven. I prophesy, preach, pray bold prayers, encourage, and speak life at ALL times because I carry the spirit of the living God WITHIN me. .NO matter what comes in front of me I will CHOOSE to sing Hallelujah, because though we are unfaithful He remains ALWAYS faithful. ( 2 Tim 2:13)

I closed with declaring truth and praying healing over the body of the Little Brown church, and then they asked if they could lay hands on me and pray. "Are you kidding? Of course!!"  I was weeping. " Yes, please," I said. And then Pastor BIll said exactly what I needed to hear. " I believe that instead of welcoming you home Rachael, we are sending you out again. This time we are sending you out into America. This is not Radical Chrisitanity, but simply Christianity as the Lord intended it, and American needs the Lord deeply." And in that moment I was commissioned to America. For how long, I am unsure. But for right now I am here. 

Not only did the Little Brown Church Welcome me, Listen to me, Support me, Pray over me, Hug me and just straight up Love on me, but they took up a love offering for me, which knocked me off my feet with gratitude. But that wasn't all it did, that Love offering was confirmation I have been waiting for. As soon as Pastor Bill announced that they were taking a Love offering for me, I heard " Living on Love" in my head. Living on Love was a phrase the Lord gave me a couple of months ago when I was praying what my next step was. I knew the Lord wanted me to speak. Over and over he brought me to Psalm 107:

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! 

His faithful Love endures Forever.

Has the Lord Redeemed you? Then SPEAK OUT!!

Tell others He has redeemed you from your enemies.....

Let THEM praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them.." 

I thought I was supposed to be going around the county to invest in people who had supported me; to sit and have coffee with someone everyday and talk about all the new things the Lord was doing and teaching. But I put the idea away, because I didn't have a car, I didn't want to be on insurance, and it would be again depending on the kindness and generosity of others to get by. But since I have been back the doors that have been opened are leading me to the east coast, and already 7 different states are on my "Tour" so to speak. I am still in the same position with no car, and really no plans yet at this point, but I am trusting the Lord is going to open the door to the places he wants me to speak and the people he wants me to meet and stay with. 

I am trusting that I can live out of my backpack stateside.

I am trusting the Lord will provide.

I am trusting God for an adventure. 

I am trusting that there is enough Love in the States to live on as well. 

And so on Jan 1st I will start my "Living on Love Tour" with the Search light conference at Adventures in Missions in Gainesville, GA. From Georgia I will travel to South Carolina to stay with a friend. From there, North Carolina, then possibly Texas, and Westward from there. That is just an outline though, and wherever I feel like the Lord is leading is where I will go. I will have an updated route on the blog site so ya'll can keep track of me. 

I am so thankful to everyone who supported me this year and cannot wait to come and spend time with you, encourage you, pray with you, and talk for hours about what the Lord is doing now and how your heart is. He is always doing a new thing, and I want to be a part of spreading his fire in the states. I'm looking forward to staying with friends, family,  fellow Racers, and whoever else the Lord brings into my life by his divine appointments across the States. If you want me to stop by or come to speak to the youth, college groups or any church service or function please contact me at LivingonLoveTour@gmail.com, and follow me at www.LivingonLoveTour.blogspot.com. I'll share stories of his faithfulness and all the adventures and quirks I have along the way. God Bless and hopefully see you soon!!

Luke 12:33-36

"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. 

Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, 

a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, 

where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Be dressed and ready for service and keep your lamps burning, 

like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, 

so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him."

I want to be ready for the Lord. Bringing his kingdom to earth is where my heart is and I want that reflected in my decisions, how I spend my time, my money and the Love that I show others!