Beauty is a lot more Broken than we allow it Be.

Beauty is a lot more broken than we allow ourselves to Be. 

Beauty is being in the presence of Truth. 

Beauty is the light that comes from finally falling in a heap on the floor, and letting the sun shine down on you.

What if we we’re a lot more Beautiful with each other?  

Would we be able to know one another better? To be known deeper?

Would we finally be able to sit up, breathe in a breath of fresh air, and stand up in Truth.. acknowledging that Beautiful brokenness set us free?

The most beautiful act of Love, was one of the most painfully brutal, and grotesque scenes that you could ever imagine. 

That should redefine what we see as beautiful...

The quest for beauty is not an uncommon one. We spend our whole lives trying to find it, trying to be it. I remember being in high school and thinking, “ If I could just lose 15 pounds, I would be beautiful. Then they would love me, then I would catch his eye, then I would be happy.” I am not uncommon to others, I am sure you could insert your own name in that statement or make your own “if I could____” then I would be, beautiful, happy, loved..”

I can remember the scene all too vividly, you know the one, pinching the bit of love handles I had then, sucking in my gut, pouting my lips and imagining a time when I would be beautiful. 

Flash forward 4 years I’m now in college, and sadly my definition of beauty has not changed, beauty still is elusive to me. What I’ve been told and experienced would say that I have the right definition, but I just don’t fit it, I can’t attain it, and maybe I never will. Friends and family are always loving, but if you’re like me you consider them untrustworthy vouchers for beauty. “Of course you’d say that” I would respond, “ you have to, you’re my mom/sister/grandmother.” 

There was never consistency to their compliments, I could be as dolled up as possible, or a sweaty dirty mess and they would tell me I was beautiful, and I didn’t get it. Instead of seeing the truth in their words I saw contradiction and looked to the world as my source. 

Comparison is an awful monster, and the death of all true beauty. The world defines beauty by comparison. How can you compare an rose and a lily? A tree and the ocean.? If you did one would always lose, coming up short, “missing” traits and qualities of the other. We were not made to compare or be compared, but simply to be a masterful piece of art work on our own. 

If all the world were a sea of grey, I’d certainly miss the color red. 

In really the last two years, I have begun to ask different questions of beauty. Where am I moved? Where do I not have the words to speak, and Where do I see life spring up in the middle of darkness? These are the places I have seen what cannot be defined, and realized in the loss of words that I have met with Beauty. 

One of the most beautiful women I know is a friend of mine. A friend fighting for a broken marriage. A woman who, though betrayed, can muster the strength to say, 

“ I love you and  can forgive you.” A woman who with tears streaming down her face can smile and choke a laugh, that somewhere down the road she sees light. That in the midst of Uncertainty and a broken heart , decides to put one foot in front of the other, wake up and get ready for the day, and hold tightly to truth. That my friends is beautiful. Why have we not been told again and again to be this beautiful? 

There are moments in our life that reveal true beauty, and we are all to quick to pass them by for the sake of not making a fool of ourselves. We are told you can’t possible love that extravagant , forgive a wound that deep, or get up after a failure like that. 

We have been told to fear failure, and humiliation. It’s seemed like good intentions. Have you heard them? 

“We just want the best for you.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt..”

“It’s not a guarantee, What if it doesn’t work out?”

But Love is not Love if there is not a choice. A belief is not recognized unless it is challenged, You cannot succeed unless you know what it is to fail, and Faith is not real unless it is put to the test.  Beauty is never found without risk. 

Unless we throw off the cautions of this world and jump into the majestic mystery that spoke beauty into existence. Unless we are willing to fall again, and again, and stand up worn, dirty, and bruised in the process. Unless we can change our mind that beauty is not never failing, but the healing that comes from failing and seeing it is worth it to try again, love again, risk again.

Maybe, we should stop trying to clean ourselves up for others, and show them how Beautiful we are. 

I pray you recognize the moments your heart is stirred in awe and wonder. The times when it looks as all is lost and a glimpse of hope shines through. The people, who though more battered than most can laugh deeply, and love even deeper. The moments you can embrace a friend bawling their eyes out in front of you without restraint. That you can lie on your back under the stars, stand in the ocean and face the roaring waves, and gaze at the sun that sets everyday and see Beauty is being what you were created for. I pray again and again you have those moments where you recognize that you are in the presence of Beauty and decide to do everything in your power to live Beautifully as well. 

Grace and Peace, 

Rachael