New Covenant Realities..

"I don't believe Christ came to create Christianity, I believe he came to restore HUMANity."
~ Ted Hansen

Ted is our guest teacher this week, and he is provocative in his teaching to say the least. He challenges what you've always believed, not for the sake of playing "devil's advocate", but to make you take responsibility for your beliefs. To make us stop being lazy followers of Jesus and deepen our relationships with God.

I have so much to share this week, but it has been a lot to chew on and a lot to sift through. My prayer this week for myself, and for ya'll is that we would become a people that are about intimacy with the Lord, and not a keeping of religion. That God would become not someone we know of, but the one we know. That we would see he sent Jesus to show us he wanted to be our Father. That we worship Jesus for what he did to connect us to the Father; to our Father's heart.

I pray we would see the bible isn't meant to be read as an instruction manual, but stories of God's people wrestling through the same things we do. That we see God's character and truth in his word, but also hear it with our own ears. That reading the word and relationship with God isn't a should do, but a WANT to. Lord change our want to's to what yours are.

I pray that our Faith is not a "Remember When God", but a "God is right now.."

Religion is something that is forgotten, because it was a remember when, it wasn't necessarily personal and things become routine- we don't even know why we are doing them or why it's necessary. Relationship is something remembered. It's alive and moving, it continues on, and rests on the present and now. New Covenant came so that we weren't still trapped in Old Covenant. New Covenant is NOW- if it's not now then it's not New.

Get up in the morning and know God is with you. Acknowledge his presence- you don't have to beg him to be around- because of Christ YOU are his new resting place. He is always with you.

DO you believe that?

Beauty is a lot more Broken than we allow it Be.

Beauty is a lot more broken than we allow ourselves to Be. 

Beauty is being in the presence of Truth. 

Beauty is the light that comes from finally falling in a heap on the floor, and letting the sun shine down on you.

What if we we’re a lot more Beautiful with each other?  

Would we be able to know one another better? To be known deeper?

Would we finally be able to sit up, breathe in a breath of fresh air, and stand up in Truth.. acknowledging that Beautiful brokenness set us free?

The most beautiful act of Love, was one of the most painfully brutal, and grotesque scenes that you could ever imagine. 

That should redefine what we see as beautiful...

The quest for beauty is not an uncommon one. We spend our whole lives trying to find it, trying to be it. I remember being in high school and thinking, “ If I could just lose 15 pounds, I would be beautiful. Then they would love me, then I would catch his eye, then I would be happy.” I am not uncommon to others, I am sure you could insert your own name in that statement or make your own “if I could____” then I would be, beautiful, happy, loved..”

I can remember the scene all too vividly, you know the one, pinching the bit of love handles I had then, sucking in my gut, pouting my lips and imagining a time when I would be beautiful. 

Flash forward 4 years I’m now in college, and sadly my definition of beauty has not changed, beauty still is elusive to me. What I’ve been told and experienced would say that I have the right definition, but I just don’t fit it, I can’t attain it, and maybe I never will. Friends and family are always loving, but if you’re like me you consider them untrustworthy vouchers for beauty. “Of course you’d say that” I would respond, “ you have to, you’re my mom/sister/grandmother.” 

There was never consistency to their compliments, I could be as dolled up as possible, or a sweaty dirty mess and they would tell me I was beautiful, and I didn’t get it. Instead of seeing the truth in their words I saw contradiction and looked to the world as my source. 

Comparison is an awful monster, and the death of all true beauty. The world defines beauty by comparison. How can you compare an rose and a lily? A tree and the ocean.? If you did one would always lose, coming up short, “missing” traits and qualities of the other. We were not made to compare or be compared, but simply to be a masterful piece of art work on our own. 

If all the world were a sea of grey, I’d certainly miss the color red. 

In really the last two years, I have begun to ask different questions of beauty. Where am I moved? Where do I not have the words to speak, and Where do I see life spring up in the middle of darkness? These are the places I have seen what cannot be defined, and realized in the loss of words that I have met with Beauty. 

One of the most beautiful women I know is a friend of mine. A friend fighting for a broken marriage. A woman who, though betrayed, can muster the strength to say, 

“ I love you and  can forgive you.” A woman who with tears streaming down her face can smile and choke a laugh, that somewhere down the road she sees light. That in the midst of Uncertainty and a broken heart , decides to put one foot in front of the other, wake up and get ready for the day, and hold tightly to truth. That my friends is beautiful. Why have we not been told again and again to be this beautiful? 

There are moments in our life that reveal true beauty, and we are all to quick to pass them by for the sake of not making a fool of ourselves. We are told you can’t possible love that extravagant , forgive a wound that deep, or get up after a failure like that. 

We have been told to fear failure, and humiliation. It’s seemed like good intentions. Have you heard them? 

“We just want the best for you.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt..”

“It’s not a guarantee, What if it doesn’t work out?”

But Love is not Love if there is not a choice. A belief is not recognized unless it is challenged, You cannot succeed unless you know what it is to fail, and Faith is not real unless it is put to the test.  Beauty is never found without risk. 

Unless we throw off the cautions of this world and jump into the majestic mystery that spoke beauty into existence. Unless we are willing to fall again, and again, and stand up worn, dirty, and bruised in the process. Unless we can change our mind that beauty is not never failing, but the healing that comes from failing and seeing it is worth it to try again, love again, risk again.

Maybe, we should stop trying to clean ourselves up for others, and show them how Beautiful we are. 

I pray you recognize the moments your heart is stirred in awe and wonder. The times when it looks as all is lost and a glimpse of hope shines through. The people, who though more battered than most can laugh deeply, and love even deeper. The moments you can embrace a friend bawling their eyes out in front of you without restraint. That you can lie on your back under the stars, stand in the ocean and face the roaring waves, and gaze at the sun that sets everyday and see Beauty is being what you were created for. I pray again and again you have those moments where you recognize that you are in the presence of Beauty and decide to do everything in your power to live Beautifully as well. 

Grace and Peace, 

Rachael 

Portland, I'll Climb Mountains for You.

Last week drained me. I have been missing home pretty badly.

Maybe it's because no matter what I am doing here I am sweating, and I miss the rain. I toss and turn in the heat missing my sister's nazi like regulations on the heater that meant living in a below zero house. I miss wearing my cardi's and cords that are all wadded up in my duffel.

It has been so hot here somedays we have to just sit all with our individual fans blowing on our face and don't move, because they don't believe in AC in spain.

I am starting to understand more of physically being in the wilderness.

And for those of you who know me, you know it's all I can do not to bobble head from the heat. I am already sleepy in nature, but the heat just takes me over the top.

Don't get me wrong. Mijas, Spain is beautiful. I am so thankful to be here at G42, but I miss green, I miss trees, the Columbia river gorge, Mt. Hood, Solid Rock Church, Salt & Straw Ice cream.. and of course all of ya'll reading.

Friday I decided to go for a hike with my friend Brian for his birthday. Oddly, I was the only one who agreed to go. It can't really be that bad I thought. It's true, we had picked the hottest day of the week to go, along with the worst time of day, 1:45 in the afternoon, but we'd have water and the suns not that bad. Right? Plus- hiking reminds me of home, and I am in need of a dose of home. My expectation and reality were way off.

Our destination: The Satellites. 
Distance: Unknown.
Number of shady tree spots: 2
Amount of boiling water I consumed: 48 ounces
Number of times I almost threw up: 2
Number of times I had to stop due to heat exhaustion and fear of fainting: 3
Number of times I wanted to turn back: The entire second half of the upward trek.
Hours to reach our destination: 3
Hours to get home: 1

The far hills in the 1st picture were our destination.. I had no idea what I was in for.

But the competitive spirit in me would not stop something I had started, and it was Brian's birthday. This hike was incline the entire way. There were moments I literally stopped with the following scenario in my head:

 

If I pass out, will Brian:
a.) Carry me down the mountain- without dropping me and us both sliding down a hill
 OR 
b.) Leave me here and go get help- where I will get scorched  with third degree burns from the sun and eaten by a snake he just told me about. A little one; aka a couple FEET long.
When we finally made it to the top and I sat and looked out over the haze of fog settling over the mediterranean from the humidity I realized that Mountains are necessary.

Climbs. The hot wind blowing in my face. Heat stroke. Points of Exhaustion that all you want to do is throw up or turn back are necessary to grow. It's these moments that facilitate change, that foster transformation, and equip you for whatever is waiting for you on the other side. Overcoming mountains brings you to NEW territory, and gives you new perspective. It took me almost quitting in the physical, to realize my heavy heart and mind this last week were also trying to turn back.

I talked to Andrew Shearman the next day about being homesick and what he said to me has completely restored the Joy in my decision to come here.

"Rachael, you're homesick, but don't let it pull you down or invite depression- Take it to God and say, 'Thank you, that I know where my heart is, and where I am going. That's one less question I have to ask you on at the moment Lord. Thank you I have a community I am excited about getting back to, and roots I want to plant, and then let yourself be free to just enjoy the time you have here, and soak up all you can to take back home."

It's incredible how a sentence of truth can dispel a mound of lies building up*. I am here to get this same DNA, this same red hot heart and ice cold brain**, mentorship, practical skills, and community so that I can take all I've been given and freely give it back to Portland and wherever else life leads.

I will continue going back and holding tight to God's last word until he says something different. His last word to me on G42 right before I left the states to come to Spain was this: "Everything I am taking you through and pouring into you in Spain is going to build a character and foundation that will be in you the rest of your life." I am holding onto that word. I still miss you Portland, but I'm growing so that I can come back and Love you better and hopefully Inspire you to grow as well.

P.S I basically jogged back down the Mountain. I was out of cold water and about to be a little bit "Hangry": anger ensued by hunger. When we reached the center of town and a water fountain- I plunged my whole head under and literally felt steam coming off of me. I can safely say I will not be attempting that climb again until the fall weather comes- if at all. It's already crossed off the bucket list!

 

P.P.S an inside joke: It was WAAAAYY worse than "Washed out Washington Park.."

* 28 seconds of prophecy can change a nation. More to come on Ezekiel 37! Words are powerful!
** Red Hot heart Ice cold Brain is a concept used here a lot. We want to have a passionate red hot heart living in an eternal reality, with an ice cold brain that sees the facts of this world and operates in what is happening now.

Hope 1

HOPE

How many of you have Hope? Or even know what hope is?

Hope my friends is believing in what is yet to come- that without a shadow of a doubt it will come to pass. Hope is solid- you can build things on hope. It has been abused and reduced to rubble and meaninglessness when we say, “ I hope I get that parking space, or I hope he really likes me..” and so on and so forth, things that are a whim, or being blown by the breeze. Chance. 

Chance and Hope are entirely different entities!

Today we talked about Ezekiel in the Valley of the dry bones that the Lord had lead him to and the Spirit of the Lord was among us. He is always with us as we seek out who he is, and the mysteries of his kingdom, but today man he was about, and moving throughout the place. 

I can honestly say I’ve never given Ezekiel 37 a good look, and epic fail on my part. Go and read it for yourself. Ask God what he is speaking to you. I’ll give you a hint- What do the dry bones represent?

What was necessary for them to come to life?

What was Ezekiel’s response??

What in the world does a man in a valley of dry bones have to do with you?? 

I say, Everything. He has everything to do with you. He is you. Deciding who you are in that story and how you will choose to listen to the Lord or not will change the rest of your life. What you believe can come out of a sentence makes all the difference. 

Believing that He is the Word, God. And you are the Voice changes everything.

Just a little teaser on a subject that is blowing my mind, and making my Spirit dance. I love this stuff. I love legacy, and inheritance, and the truth that is being poured over me right now is making me overflow. 

I can’t wait to share more of it with you here, but even more so in person. To everyone at home I love and miss you. 

To everyone not at home, thank you for reading and supporting me here, financially and in prayer! Your words are making a world of difference.

Support Update: I am currently 300 dollars away from being funded for August’s tuition, and 3,000 total for my time here. Thank you so much for believing in me and sewing into what is going to be an awesome legacy. 

Financially, Prayer and Passing it along are all awesome! 

Hope 1

HOPE

How many of you have Hope? Or even know what hope is?

Hope my friends is believing in what is yet to come- that without a shadow of a doubt it will come to pass. Hope is solid- you can build things on hope. It has been abused and reduced to rubble and meaninglessness when we say, “ I hope I get that parking space, or I hope he really likes me..” and so on and so forth, things that are a whim, or being blown by the breeze. Chance. 

Chance and Hope are entirely different entities!

Today we talked about Ezekiel in the Valley of the dry bones that the Lord had lead him to and the Spirit of the Lord was among us. He is always with us as we seek out who he is, and the mysteries of his kingdom, but today man he was about, and moving throughout the place. 

I can honestly say I’ve never given Ezekiel 37 a good look, and epic fail on my part. Go and read it for yourself. Ask God what he is speaking to you. I’ll give you a hint- What do the dry bones represent?

What was necessary for them to come to life?

What was Ezekiel’s response??

What in the world does a man in a valley of dry bones have to do with you?? 

I say, Everything. He has everything to do with you. He is you. Deciding who you are in that story and how you will choose to listen to the Lord or not will change the rest of your life. What you believe can come out of a sentence makes all the difference. 

Believing that He is the Word, God. And you are the Voice changes everything.

Just a little teaser on a subject that is blowing my mind, and making my Spirit dance. I love this stuff. I love legacy, and inheritance, and the truth that is being poured over me right now is making me overflow. 

I can’t wait to share more of it with you here, but even more so in person. To everyone at home I love and miss you. 

To everyone not at home, thank you for reading and supporting me here, financially and in prayer! Your words are making a world of difference.

Support Update: I am currently 300 dollars away from being funded for August’s tuition, and 3,000 total for my time here. Thank you so much for believing in me and sewing into what is going to be an awesome legacy. 

Financially, Prayer and Passing it along are all awesome! 

Fear

Fear will sing your dreams to sleep if you let it

Fear is misplaced Faith

Fear takes over when I give more weight to "what if's" than what God said and who He is.

What's God's Point?

WHo am I? 

Why am I here?

What’s my purpose?

Who is God, Where is he?

What’s the point?

These are questions that have echoed throughout eternity since man believed the lie Satan brought into the garden. The question we should be asking is, “ What is God’s point?” Where is he leading me?

If I’m going to find any answers I need to go back to the source. “I need to sit under the tree of life” and ask God, “What’s the point?” 

Because how we answer that question determines the way we will live our lives. 

Do we think God wound us up and is no longer involved? 

DO you think you were made just to live 70-80 years and then die? 

If you are a Christian do you believe you were made to accept Jesus and go to Heaven? If that’s the case, I ask you, What’s the point? Wouldn’t it be better to just die now if the goal is “heaven”. Was sin bigger than God, did it surprise him, and he’s really going to scrap the world, and pull out plan B?

I don’t believe so. I believe there was only ever one plan, and we are still going back to what he originally intended in eden. 

We pray over and over, the memorized so often said in a drone monotone, “ Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven..” 

DO we realize what scripture says? That it says “Here on earth.” That doesn’t sound like rapture and destroying the earth. Isn’t he a God who makes all things new? 

Are we fighting a losing battle, or do we believe in the eschatology of Victory? Is the question Andrew posed to us last week. 

Because if we believe it is all  just going to hell in a hand basket, then why go to Haiti, why help the brokenhearted and homeless? Why recycle, and why do we do anything for the environment if death is the end? 

I believe death is inevitable, but it’s not the end. I’m looking forward to the end, the real ending. The life AFTER life after death.. what happens after “heaven”. 

Because before the fall we were made to work, and work was good. It was cursed at the fall, not created. I don’t think our future is white robes, mansions, and harps, but a New Jerusalem. An Eden like City where we live life the way God intended ; with him on the throne. That’s the Kingdom I believe in. That’s the point. Or a start.... 

Hey Idiot, I love you. What do you think of me?

At the end of the week this is how I have heard God... like "Come on Rachael, just live for me..I love you." Do you need to get smacked over the head and told the same? Believe me, He does Love you..Let that free up your mind a bit. 

The freedom to Love God and do what you want has completely shifted my thinking of the way calling works. We didn't discuss it in class this week, but Moses comes to mind. God didn't force something on him that wasn't there. Moses sat in the presence of God, and Aaron spoke.. two separate and necessary jobs that needed doing for God's work to be carried out. 

Before coming to G42 I began reading Knowledge of the Holy*. AW Tozer's plea for us to think well on God, to seek out the mysteries of who he is, and the truth he has reveled of himself in scripture. G42 is knowledge of the Holy in action. Our classes are meant to make us uncomfortable, to dig into the deepest parts of our minds and figure out what ungodly beliefs have been tucked away that need to be infused with truth. We are practicing thinking well on God. 

In our session on Thursday we talked about strongholds. 

Stronghold: A  hiding camp of the enemy. A stronghold is a distinct pattern burned in our minds that causes us to think or perceive things in a certain way. A faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception. 

By the way, Demons and strongholds are good friends. If Satan gets a hold of your mind, he needs to do nothing else. 

Can you guess what the two major strongholds in believers are??

1.) An incorrect view of who God is..

2.) An incorrect perception of who we are...

Who is God? Who are you?

What would you answer to those two questions?

I know there are many layers to each, but I'm more looking for the first thing that comes to mind, the first layer you could say. I've realized this week just how many layers to strongholds there can be, how many layers of freedom are available, and how much we can either allow ourselves to be trapped or experiencing the fullness of what we were made for. 

Go ahead, throw out your "Christian, moral, safe" answer. You don't have to have grown up in the church to have one of these. It's our general response, like saying "fine, or good" when asked how we are. Throw it out and get real. One truth I knew going into this is God IS all honesty and truth. When we are honest he honors and respects that, it's not like he doesn't already know how you feel. Oh and... screw the people around you. (Don't get me wrong, I love people, but our assumption of what people will think or say in response to who we are, what we are questioning or how we feel is to speak plainly, stupid... there will be more on this later.) 

Now say it out loud. God I think you are (___________insert your answer here.) Listen to the what you just said. Repeat it a few times, and let the words fall to the floor, or echo around you. 

Why do you think that? Where did it come from? and are you willing to explore it to find truth?

Now, Imagine doing that in front of 17 other people. Imagine being called on before you've had time to think of a proper answer, or even get your thoughts together. Imagine letting go of what other people think of you and just focusing in on the question. Imagine letting your guard down so people can really see you. Welcome to G42. 

This is what the church should look like. This is what we should be doing. Let's stop having bible studies where one person speaks and everyone listens, and lets put the responsibility back on everyone to know each other and be known and wrestle through things together. I still think we need a pastor to shepherd and bring truth to the whole, but in our day to day, in our meetings, in our general conversation.. 

What are we doing? How are we helping each other mature and work if our perception of God is skewed, our perception of ourselves is inadequate, and of one another isn't real? 

What is the point of the church?? Why do we gather together? Is it not to know and pursue who God is? And support each other wherever each of us are? To worship together in freedom and in truth? To work to bring the kingdom of God in all areas of life? Because from where I'm sitting I don't see a lot of this in the church body. I see a lot of people coming in craving it, but too scared to step out and take it. What are we afraid of??

What if we got together to figure out who God is and who we are, and started the conversation with, "Hey Idiot, I love you." Would you feel the freedom to breathe and be real? Please don't be offended. There's no need to be. I'm just calling it like I see it, and like I've been called out on it. I've been an idiot, and I'm trying to walk away from that. 

Here is a small peek into our conversation about what we think of God, and questions we have. None of us are perfect. We are all figuring it out. But there are two types of people: Those who sit in their imperfection and those who seek out the answers to change it. 

I would love to know your answers and your questions. You are welcome to be honest here.. if you are so brave.. to enter into a little freedom.

" I sometimes fear that in the face of a decision I will choose the wrong thing and God will be disappointed in me. That I constantly let him down. .."

" I picture God as my imaginary friend, that only I can hear and do what He's telling me..like jiminy cricket."

" God just seems so abstract, like when I finally see him one way, everything shifts and I don't understand, and maybe won't ever."

" I see what I have, and what I'm lacking and think God's not fair. Then I see what I have that others are lacking, and think the same. Everything is so uneven. If he can do something about it, why not. I can't tell if he's in control, and if he's not, then how can I trust him?"

" I see God as being judgmental.."

" I used to think that 'God so loved the world' and didn't see the individual. I now waver back and forth between that and that he sees me so personally..."

"God is constant. We don't have to work for his love. That 'though we are unfaithful he is faithful'(2 tim 2:13). I know that from walking away from him, and him taking me back with no questions. How can someone do that? I don't know if I could love someone like that."

"Is he a God of all things, and if so why did he create people who wouldn't ever love him? or does he choose not to know all things?.."

" If we say God is in control, why is there so much crap that goes on. Doesn't seem to me like he is control of a lot."

" I picture God as a distance marker. That I strive and "do good" to get closer to him, and no matter how much I move forward the distance marker keeps getting further and further away."

" I fear he won't equip me for the things he's put on my heart. It's overwhelming."

" How many of you think if you don't read or pray, or have a quiet time, you'll be back at square one with God again?" (multiple hands raise...)

How do we find the answers? How do we get past these strongholds in our life......? On it's way shortly...Don't worry it's not a ten step process or something you can check off. That's not my style, and it's not my Dad's either.

* Unfortunately, I left "Knowledge of the Holy" on my plane ride from NY to Belgium. Praying that whoever picks it up is intrigued and taken on an awesome journey to discover who God is...I'm hoping to find one in a used book store around here.