At the end of the week this is how I have heard God... like "Come on Rachael, just live for me..I love you." Do you need to get smacked over the head and told the same? Believe me, He does Love you..Let that free up your mind a bit.
The freedom to Love God and do what you want has completely shifted my thinking of the way calling works. We didn't discuss it in class this week, but Moses comes to mind. God didn't force something on him that wasn't there. Moses sat in the presence of God, and Aaron spoke.. two separate and necessary jobs that needed doing for God's work to be carried out.
Before coming to G42 I began reading Knowledge of the Holy*. AW Tozer's plea for us to think well on God, to seek out the mysteries of who he is, and the truth he has reveled of himself in scripture. G42 is knowledge of the Holy in action. Our classes are meant to make us uncomfortable, to dig into the deepest parts of our minds and figure out what ungodly beliefs have been tucked away that need to be infused with truth. We are practicing thinking well on God.
In our session on Thursday we talked about strongholds.
Stronghold: A hiding camp of the enemy. A stronghold is a distinct pattern burned in our minds that causes us to think or perceive things in a certain way. A faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception.
By the way, Demons and strongholds are good friends. If Satan gets a hold of your mind, he needs to do nothing else.
Can you guess what the two major strongholds in believers are??
1.) An incorrect view of who God is..
2.) An incorrect perception of who we are...
Who is God? Who are you?
What would you answer to those two questions?
I know there are many layers to each, but I'm more looking for the first thing that comes to mind, the first layer you could say. I've realized this week just how many layers to strongholds there can be, how many layers of freedom are available, and how much we can either allow ourselves to be trapped or experiencing the fullness of what we were made for.
Go ahead, throw out your "Christian, moral, safe" answer. You don't have to have grown up in the church to have one of these. It's our general response, like saying "fine, or good" when asked how we are. Throw it out and get real. One truth I knew going into this is God IS all honesty and truth. When we are honest he honors and respects that, it's not like he doesn't already know how you feel. Oh and... screw the people around you. (Don't get me wrong, I love people, but our assumption of what people will think or say in response to who we are, what we are questioning or how we feel is to speak plainly, stupid... there will be more on this later.)
Now say it out loud. God I think you are (___________insert your answer here.) Listen to the what you just said. Repeat it a few times, and let the words fall to the floor, or echo around you.
Why do you think that? Where did it come from? and are you willing to explore it to find truth?
Now, Imagine doing that in front of 17 other people. Imagine being called on before you've had time to think of a proper answer, or even get your thoughts together. Imagine letting go of what other people think of you and just focusing in on the question. Imagine letting your guard down so people can really see you. Welcome to G42.
This is what the church should look like. This is what we should be doing. Let's stop having bible studies where one person speaks and everyone listens, and lets put the responsibility back on everyone to know each other and be known and wrestle through things together. I still think we need a pastor to shepherd and bring truth to the whole, but in our day to day, in our meetings, in our general conversation..
What are we doing? How are we helping each other mature and work if our perception of God is skewed, our perception of ourselves is inadequate, and of one another isn't real?
What is the point of the church?? Why do we gather together? Is it not to know and pursue who God is? And support each other wherever each of us are? To worship together in freedom and in truth? To work to bring the kingdom of God in all areas of life? Because from where I'm sitting I don't see a lot of this in the church body. I see a lot of people coming in craving it, but too scared to step out and take it. What are we afraid of??
What if we got together to figure out who God is and who we are, and started the conversation with, "Hey Idiot, I love you." Would you feel the freedom to breathe and be real? Please don't be offended. There's no need to be. I'm just calling it like I see it, and like I've been called out on it. I've been an idiot, and I'm trying to walk away from that.
Here is a small peek into our conversation about what we think of God, and questions we have. None of us are perfect. We are all figuring it out. But there are two types of people: Those who sit in their imperfection and those who seek out the answers to change it.
I would love to know your answers and your questions. You are welcome to be honest here.. if you are so brave.. to enter into a little freedom.
" I sometimes fear that in the face of a decision I will choose the wrong thing and God will be disappointed in me. That I constantly let him down. .."
" I picture God as my imaginary friend, that only I can hear and do what He's telling me..like jiminy cricket."
" God just seems so abstract, like when I finally see him one way, everything shifts and I don't understand, and maybe won't ever."
" I see what I have, and what I'm lacking and think God's not fair. Then I see what I have that others are lacking, and think the same. Everything is so uneven. If he can do something about it, why not. I can't tell if he's in control, and if he's not, then how can I trust him?"
" I see God as being judgmental.."
" I used to think that 'God so loved the world' and didn't see the individual. I now waver back and forth between that and that he sees me so personally..."
"God is constant. We don't have to work for his love. That 'though we are unfaithful he is faithful'(2 tim 2:13). I know that from walking away from him, and him taking me back with no questions. How can someone do that? I don't know if I could love someone like that."
"Is he a God of all things, and if so why did he create people who wouldn't ever love him? or does he choose not to know all things?.."
" If we say God is in control, why is there so much crap that goes on. Doesn't seem to me like he is control of a lot."
" I picture God as a distance marker. That I strive and "do good" to get closer to him, and no matter how much I move forward the distance marker keeps getting further and further away."
" I fear he won't equip me for the things he's put on my heart. It's overwhelming."
" How many of you think if you don't read or pray, or have a quiet time, you'll be back at square one with God again?" (multiple hands raise...)
How do we find the answers? How do we get past these strongholds in our life......? On it's way shortly...Don't worry it's not a ten step process or something you can check off. That's not my style, and it's not my Dad's either.
* Unfortunately, I left "Knowledge of the Holy" on my plane ride from NY to Belgium. Praying that whoever picks it up is intrigued and taken on an awesome journey to discover who God is...I'm hoping to find one in a used book store around here.
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