Valentines Schmalentines

This is a little excessive, don't you think. 

Today is Valentine's Day. Valentines Schmalentines. I have long been a part of the haters club, and as another year rolls by without a "Valentine" I will continue to do so. Maybe it's because so much of me is the Romantic, and Valentines Day to me is just, well, not.

That could be because I have not had a "real" Valentine myself; someone to plan something romantic and buy me flowers and candy. 

OR 

It could be, because I don't buy into the commercialism of romance. Out of the blue, when no one is reminding you to Love, that's when I want to be loved. I want to be woo-ed and swept off my feet with flowers, and a trip to loco pops just because it's 3 o'clock on a Tuesday and you couldn't help yourself. That's my kind of Romance. 

Today I thought back to to see if I had any fond Valentines day memories, and 2 memories came to mind.. *cue the reminiscent fog*

Once when I was in the 5th grade, in Sweet home, Oregon I celebrated Valentines day. I was asked on a "date" by a little boy, who's name escapes me now, to go see "Titanic" when it had first come out. It was a PG-13 movie, and my parents had forbidden me to go, but for the sake of love I set out in the cover of night after my parents had turned my light out. Scandalous. In those days it was pretty easy for me to sneak out of my window, and the rebel in me couldn't resist. I met my friend, and partner in crime, Kelsey on the way and our dates met us in front of the theatre. As 5th graders, they paid our way in ( take notes gentlemen, as 5th graders!) and even brought along heart candies, and a single rose for each of us... I remember getting home after and thinking, "Wow, could this be love?" and then crying, because I remembered I had left my rose in the seat beside me. I had no idea boys at that age only want a girl on Valentines day, because that's what they're told they need, and the next day would go back to pulling my hair, and pushing me down on the playground. 

One day out of the year, that doesn't sound like everlasting Love. Even so, I remember in the years to follow feeling an emptiness that I didn't have a Valentine's date. I remember being surrounded by girls around me who would start dating someone they weren't really interested in just before Valentine's day so they're singleness wouldn't be magnified. So many hasty romances due to fear of being alone. Our society has fed us something terribly incorrect. An attitude that says if we aren't with someone we aren't loved, that our value comes from the relationship we are in, and in a lot of cases- better to sell short and be with "someone" instead of no one, right?

The second likable Valentines day memory I have was a couple years back when I was nannying full time here in Raleigh, NC. Most of my days back then were spent with a little boy, named Adrian Mangano. At the time he was 4 years old. I woke up on Valentines day and came down the stairs to find flowers on the kitchen table. "Aw, that's sweet," I thought. Flowers every week were not uncommon for the Mangano's. I love how they love each other. A couple minutes later Adrian came in, a smile on his face, and pointed to the flowers, " These are for you for Valentines Day, Rachael. They're not the right ones though! Mommy got the wrong ones. I told her I knew which ones were your favorite. I know the kind you like." I cried. Even being a "schmalentiner" I cried. I cried, because a 4 year old boy was the only current male that knew my favorite flower. I cried, because it was adorable. And I cried, because my valentine was from a 4 year old male instead of a twenty-somethings male. Even standing on a soap box, disliking Valentines day there's still the desire to be woo-ed, to be noticed, and known. 

This year I decided I'd beat Valentine's Day to the chase, and make plans on my own. I wouldn't secretly hope for someone to ask me out, or take me on an adventure, to get gifts from a secret admirer, or receive my favorite flowers. I decided that today really was going to be like any other day for me, and I was going to aid in someone else being woo-ed. 

I volunteered to babysit for the Alexanders, an amazing family I live with and love here in Raleigh. While they're not much of "Valentiners" either, they decided fighting the crowds was worth it just to get a night off together. I arrived at 6 pm to their normal dinner chaos, with three kids, what else do you expect. But it's good chaos, the chaos of a full home. On the counter were 3 vases of beautiful flowers. "Aww, that's sweet." I said." "One's for you," Daniel replied. "From the Alexander men (meaning himself, 4 year old Jack and 6 year old David) to the ladies of the house.." I had a moment where I wanted to cry, but instead I chose to just smell the roses ( or flower medley). 

"You will not get the best of me this year Valentines day!" ( fist pumped in the air). I know that I'm loved- that's the beauty and sweetness I take from these flowers, the emptiness can't creep up, because void is no longer there to be magnified. I am loved by families, loved by friends, and especially 4 year old boys. But not just at an earthly glance, I am loved by my creator.  I am someone's beloved, I am a beloved of the King, Christ, my Lord and Savior, he is my beloved as well. No hasty romances necessary. He tells me my worth. He tells me my value is not found in the relationship I am in here, but in my relationship with him. Even when my "Boaz" to use Christian lingo as is only proper, eventually comes who I am remains in the Lord. And so I sit here on Valentines day, content, even full of Joy, a beautiful vase of flowers to my left, and a cup of chai to my right, not willing to settle just for a "mighty man."

Here's to my Beloved, whoever you are, " May we smite Valentines day and just go about loving each other every other day of the year instead.